"But people don't even watch music videos anymore"

These are for Nugget. We still watch music videos.

Mike Posner - Bow Chicka Wow Wow ft. Lil Wayne


J.Lo - On the Floor ft. Pitbull


Avril Lavigne - What the Hell

An Open Letter to Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin,

How are you? Are things good? How's Jessica, good? Good. Let's cut to the chase.

What's happened? My concern is growing because you are a very talented guy, you're a triple threat in fact! You can sing, dance and act but your priorities seem to be whack lately to say the least. 

You can sing, dance, and act and should do so in that order.  Sure, your acting career has come a long way since you were in that ABC Family made for TV movie (ahem, Model Behavior). And even though I shed a tear at the end of Alpha Dog, seeing you as a tatooed bad-ass in a movie that is a B- at best is not what I'm lookin' for. 

So maybe you made some strides outside music biz over the past few years.  We LOVED D*ck in a box, we did.   I agree, you may have missed your calling as an SNL regular.  You were pretty bomb at hosting the ESPY's, we love sports too.

But let's get REAL: Shrek the Third was by far the worst in the series.  Then, did you really sign on as the voice of Boo-Boo? And after that you played a booger on The Cleveland Show? Nothing sexy about that JT.

Maybe the voice-overs are fun but take it back to the basics.  People are starting to forget who you are!  Take for example my roommate, Beej and her boyfriend @KLFatso.  They went to see The Social Network together. 

1/2 way through the movie:
@KLFatso: So, is that really the guy that invented Napster?
Beej: No, that's Justin Timberlake?

Exactly KLfasto, who is he??? Oh, he brought SexyBack in 2006. 

Per wikipedia, since 2007 he's been doing "collaborations & acting".  Well the collabos are few and far between.  Listen up.  Carry out was only O.K., so was 4 minutes but Madonna anytime past 1990 is overrated.  Don't be so quick to walk away...from your solo music career JT.  We need you!

Give freaking Nelly Furtado a call and get something crackin'!  I need a beat.  I need a dance beat and I need it from you.  Do me a solid get your ass out of the voice-over studio and into the music studio.  So bring Rihanna, Timbo, T.I. (once he's out of jail again) and whoever else you need. 


Call Lil' wayne, you're bound to go top 10 if you bring him.

I'm here for you bud, but if you star in another GD animated feature I'm gonna agree that sexy left for good and go see what JC Chasez is up to. 

Until then,
XOXO
Popprincess

Grand Canyon Here We Come?

It's pretty much official that my friends and I are tapped.

Saturday we had a brilliant idea to become moms....sort of. Vicki deemed it a "pregancy pact" but in all reality we just went to PetCo in Quincy and bought some betta fish.  

The grand plan stemmed from a very deep conversation about Nugget's hypothetical hamster named Carl. She used to get a little lonely over in Brighton when her roomies weren't around, so she thought a small rodent with a human name would provide a little companionship.  My response to this (not thinking Carl was a weird name for a hampster by any means) was:

What? People name their dogs Sarah.

My friends had a field day with this.  If you know a dog named Sarah please provide me with some proof (a picture of her dog tag perhaps) so I can shut them up, thanks!

So anyhoo we decided that we would each get a Betta fish, give it a human name, and see whose fish could live the longest.  We also decided that each time a fish passes away, there will be a special ceremony at a pre-determined location. 

We threw around ideas like going to the top of the hub, freezing all the fish until that last one was gone and sending them all off together...but we've outlined the plan below and in the hopes that years would pass before the first fish kicked the bucket...

Fish #1 - Everyone goes to to that person's house with a condolence gift. Honorary flush.

Fish #2 - Carson Beach. Brunch at Amrheins.

Fish #3 - Lake Champlain. Sweetwaters.

Fish #4 - GRAND CANYON. Head to wherever there's awesome food.

That's right, Fox wants to ride a donkey down to the bottom of the grand canyon, put her fish (Craig) in a special wreath and send him down the river.  Keep in mind Craig is named after Craig from Friday (you know Ice Cube also from Next Friday and Friday after Next).  "SUP CRAIIIIIIIGGGG?".

If we're too poor to go to the Grand Canyon, we've come up with a backup plan of Niagra falls (on the Canada side of course).    Did I mention that we were tapped? Just thought I would reiterate that. 

My mother's response to this plan was, plain and simple:

Well at least it's not a cat...

We've come up with some rules for this weird but awesome competition:

Rule #1: You may not order fish at the coalition, fish are friends not food. Everyone must have nice words prepared for the meal. 

Rule #2: Your fish must have a human name (example: Sarah).

Rule #3: Fish Care: You may not sabatage anyone else's fish. If you're babysitting you must ,care for the fish as if it is your own. You may not let anyone outside the group babysit your fish.

Rule #4: Death notice must be via voicemail or email. Voicemail order is alphabetically by 1st name.

Rule #5: You must leave all significant others and family behind during the coalition.

So that's it.  There you have it.  Craig, Dave, Ernest and Sam were adopted on Saturday, February 27th.  I am currently babysitting Dave while Nugget is in Florida.  Dave and Sam are safe and sound.  HOWEVER, A mere 2 DAYS post adoption.

Fox kills craig....(see Craig, pictured below).

First off, she broke rule #4 and gave me the death notice via gchat and then with a picture text message...that was not outlined in the rules.  Nonetheless, it looks like we'll all be heading to F street for an honarary flush. 

 RIP Craig, long live Dave, Ernest and Sam...

xoxo,
Popprincess

Why are We Single?

Yeah, back to back singleness...

Me: Fox, Why are you single?

Fox: One day i faked sick to go on a job interview.

To make it more believeable, the next day I didn't wear makeup when I went into the office.

My boss told me I looked awful and made me go home.

Why am I Single?

Q: Why am I Single?

A: A recent conversation with Fox:

Me: I want to, like, go shopping. 

Fox: Okay

Me:  I don't really have a lot of money right now, maybe I'll just put some things on hold.

Fox: I don't think they have layaway at Ann Taylor.

Oh, You Know Him, He's the Other Penguin

It has come to my attention that when I begin telling a story, I always explain the characters of my tale in the same way.   Every. Single. Time.

These are stories about people I know, not stories about Disney characters.  At first, I was doing it out of sheer convenience for the audience of my kick ass stories.  I always find myself wanting to explain who the eff I am talking about and frankly I'm pretty bad at describing what people look like.

Yeah, he's like not short, but not tall....I donno!  He has eyes and hair.

So after our Halloween party, a light bulb went off.  [Insert thought bubble]...I'll just explain who I'm talking about by referring to them by their costume, GENIOUS!! Take note:


She was one of the Kardashians....no no, that was Kim, Fox was the mom.

Yah, my friend Faith the one that lives in nh.....Operation??

Moose and her husband, yeah I mean Mario & Luigi...

Yeah I'm just going to hang out with  my roommate tonight...yep that's her, the green troll

Mmmm hmmm she was the tiger her fiance was Roy

Yah my friend that threw up off the chairlift last weekend, that was Snooki

Oh, you know him, he's the other Penguin


So, be wary of what you decide to dress as for my parties because it will follow you around for a full calendar year.  It's my world, you're just livin' in it.  Okay, let's put this into practice for you kids now.

It's prezzy weekend so obvi we were going to rage slash sunday funday.  A few prezzy days back I blessed you all with the gem that was Hangovahs, yeah you're welcome.  This is all you get this year, sowwy.

We had a crew out yesterday. Kris, Khloe and Kim Kardashian, Mario sans Luigi, the Hulk, Richard Simmons (moi), and Penguin 1 and Penguin 2 (maybe even a few more I can't recall).

Penguin 2 was celebrating his 29th Birthday, hard, and were all right there with him (while also celebrating some dead presidents as well).  Everyone was having a jovial time, triple fisting John Daly's, smashing free shots of Doctor off our foreheads, and whipping out dance moves like the Bernie (at like 2 p.m.).

So Penguin 2 had a few too many bevs and my bum may or may have not been slapped once or twice.  I have to take into account that based on what I was wearing, in his mind, I was asking for it.  I may return to my old reliable saying no popprincess, spandex are not pants.

A few words were said and we moved on from that but an hour or so later, Moose decided to orchestrate a Bernie-off between me and Penguin 1.  Again, I was putting myself into this situation...who the eff Bernies at Stats at all, let alone at 2:00p.m. on a Sunday....but I digress...

I was just getting into my groove and I felt a some sort of wetness dripping down my head.

OMG, Penguin 2 just poured beer on my head! WTF! 

So then I (Richard Simmons), grab Kris Kardashian and tell her what happened.  Kris, the mom that she is talked me off the ledge much like when Kim was crying about her new nudey pics.  Kris is such a great Mom.

Then the Hulk and Penguin 1 got into a small but noticeable argument with Penguin 2 (thanks for sticking up for Richard dudes).  To the best of my knowledge I do not believe that any punches were exchanged, but shortly after Penguin 2 was removed from the bar.  Sowwy Penguin 2.

The worst part about the situation is that we didn't even get to declare a winner.  One word for you Penguin 1: Rematch.

In case you are curious, things are okay between me and Penguin 2.  Nothing that a facebook friendship request and an apology text can't cure! If you're reading this P2, you owe me a John Daly's or 6 the next time we're out around town, mmmk?

To top it all off I ended my night by capping off my weekend with not just a 1-2 punch of Friday & Saturday night at the Whiskey Priest.  You guessed it make that 3 nights in a row at Whiskey Priest.  Aww yah, Whiskey Priest hat trick aww yah.  Richard Simmons needs a live change ASAP. 

Until next time,
Pop

Getting this CD tomm, fo sho.

This is pretty amazing.

Seriously Mom...

So, my friend Lorraine was watching his commercial with her Mom.  At the end Lorraine's madre was really concerned...

Lorraine's Mom: Oh my gosh, I feel so bad!

Lorraine: Why?

LM: Well I don't know what I'd do without my phone.

Lorraine: Seriously Mom, name 5 people that even call you...

LM: You....your brother....Dad....Aunt Cookie....and.......the dentist

hahahahah - so who's in your 5?

Oops, Beef turned 25 too!

So Beef turned 25 too, I'm pretty sure I was so caught up with being depressed about being old, that I left out the fact that my twin turned as well.  Whoopsies!

Side note: Beef sent me a shake weight, that arrived just a few days post-bday.  I sent her a Valentine that said "Happy Belated Birthday" inside that she got yesterday.  I'm an awesome sister/twin/MOH.

So, back to Beef's B-day... she had dinner plans with her fiance, 1st lieutenant blackout for Saturday night.  But they weren't ready and obvi wanted to blackout, so changed plans to go out Sunday.

Sunday came around and Beef and 1st lieutenant blackout couldn't go out to dinner because they had stayed up until 5AM, had breakfast at 24 hour diner and let's face it at 25 you're old, can't hang like you used to. 

So Monday rolls around, and Beef is fully expecting a full fledged birthday dinner.  Wrong.  First Lieutenant Blackout had to stay at work late, so didn't get home until 8:45.

Beef was starving.

He comes home...."You ate dinner right? I'm taking you out to dessert."

ughhhh.

So they are at their chosen restaurant, and Moose calls.  Beef answered since she wanted to soak up all the happy bdays from afar. 

Moose: What are you doing?

Beef: We're at Chili's.

Moose: Happy 12th Birthday.

She didn't even get the molten lava cake.  I guess she's wearing her Birthday present on her left hand too...haha.

Happy Belated B-day Beef!

xoxo,

Popprincess