Monday, March 23, 2009

Be All You Can Be...

My sister Beef’s boyfriend , a West Point grad, currently serving our country in the Army, turned the big 2-3 Sunday. Now, keep in mind the last time he was in town...things got a little wild. Second Lieutenant Blackout and Beef blacked out and left he bar and found them in the street a solid hour after they had left. Beef had fallen on her face and Second Lieutenant Blackout couldn’t find a cab on a street filled with them. This weekend wasn't much different, everyone seemed to be all they could be...

We thought we'd get some friends together to celebrate his day of birth. Second Lieutenant Blackout's bar of choice for the night was Kitty O’Shea’s (dubbed Shitty Okay’s by a friend. No complaints here...I had a slammin’ time)

Above pictured: Beef (Left) drinking one
of 3 waters that she tried to "pay for" on her tab.
Boyfriend Second Lieutenant Blackout(right).

I called up my most favorite cab driver Ramon, a 350+ lb man (who will dispatch a cab to me from vaca in FL), and rounded up cabs for the 20 some-odd people in my apt. over to the bar...
Upon arriving our hometown and college friends were getting along splendidly. I’m not sure when we all turned a corner, or who roofied us all, but things sure got sloppy…

Second Lieutenant Blackout had successfully downed several drinks and the jams were pumpin’ so he started to bust a move or two on the dance floor. Beef, 8 beers deep after she left the apartment, wanted to join in the fun and dance with her man. Upon seeing Beef’s dance moves Moose, our older sister, immediately saw to it that the situation was squashed. Our conversation on Sunday went as follows:

Popprincess: Moose, why’d you stop Beef from dancing?
Moose: I was trying to protect her image.
Second Lieutenant Blackout: Who was trying to protect my image?

Pictured Right: Second Lieutenant Blackout & Beef Summer '08

The night got a little hazy after that, but Nugget’s facebook album helped us piece it back together.:





Apparently getting a cab home was a feat only Nugget and I could accomplish. Biz and my Britney Spears obsessed friend jumped in the back of a woman’s car (as if it were a cab) and said “Take us to Southie!!”. Allegedly the entire car ride Brit was calling her friends and saying “Yea, this really, really strange woman is giving us a ride!!!”

The strange woman was named Amalia. She was in her mid-thirties, a little larger, with frizzy curly hair, possibly gap-toothed. Biz, feeling bad that Brit called her strange, decided to bring her into my house for the after party.

Amalia came in like a hurricane. She was all about the meet and greet and asked what "hot guys" were coming over. Someone ever-so-kindly told her “I’m not trying to be mean, but they would never hook up with you”.

Amalia grabbed a road-soda and headed home...

A few minutes later a hood sounding man called me to “see what shorty was up to”. Puzzled, I hung up. Moose called a bit after that and said she got a ride home from a very nice black man in a Range Rover. She offered him snacks from Tedeschi’s for his kindness but instead he asked for a phone number, she gave him mine.

I told Moose that’s how you get chopped into little pieces, but at least she got home safe.

All the while Biz wanted Chinese food (please note: Biz was previously featured in Bringing in ’09 right… and barfed chinese into my friends sink…) I honestly called every place this side of the red line. We ended up settling for a lean pocket around 3 a.m. and calling it a night.

Needless to say, we were hurtin’ on Sunday. Beef called the bar claim her debit card with our last name. Come to find out Moose had left her card at the bar too. Believe it or not I was the only [insert my last name if you know it here] sister to come home with all of her belongings. Can’t wait for Second Lieutenant Blackout to come back to town again…

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