Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Okay, I am gonna tell you this straight out. A friend of mine asked me to blog about how awesome he is. Now I suppose I can't just classify him as a friend - he is my sister's boyfriend - so I guess some sort of familial guilt made me feel obliged (please note: his modesty will not be an attributing characteristic to his awesomeness).
So let us begin...
I guess - as you can see from the picture to the left - he has huge muscles. I mean who wouldn't swoon over that 6 pack (it might be an 8-pack, I'm unsure). He outdoes Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and even Christian Bale in his portrayal -without even using steriods. Do you believe it? Perhaps he could be batman in the next one of the series - of course we'd have to get Alfred to update his suit.
He wants a girlfriend with skills. When Valentine's Day rolled around last year - he didn't want to take the traditional route and buy candy, flowers, etc. etc. He wanted something useful. When his lovely ladies' gal-pals or co-workers inquired about what he got her for Valentines day she would have had to reluctantly respond: "He got me karate lessons". Although he went with a traditional gift - he likes to color outside the lines...my suggestion for V-day '09 is nunchucks. She can add that skill to her bow staff skills, computer hacking skills and all the other skills she already has.
His favorite song is smell yo dick.
He has a sweet car. It's pimp - he likes to impress the 17 yr old girls at Peggoty beach with it. However, when his girlfriend and 3-4 or her quasi-drunk twenty-two to twenty six year old friends/siblings stumble out of/into his pimped out ride after a few too many teas..they mayyy just tarnish his image...yet he kept bringing them back everyyy weekend.
He plays guitar - is rumored to have played bbmak jams in the summer of '08 (I mean that alone makes him awesome in my eyes - bbmak? priceless.)
He's got a tatoo or two - can we say "BAMF" together now?
He sweats my alma mater.
He instigates my British alter-ego.
He jokes about dumping my sister. But is far too nice to leave her homeless, carless, and single...she also might out-do him in awesomeness...
He gives out sweet nicknames. He and his college friends nicknamed his girlfriend afer a large, antlered animal often found in vermont - it rhymes with spruce. I was formerly the "mini" of the aboved mentioned animal - not because of my size (again see the dream)but because I am younger. I have now been dubbed "delicious". Upgrade? Obvi!
Although he's kind of emo (I've been told I misuse that word..)He likes to take sweet emoish pics, listens to songs that aren't on the top 40 (wtf?), and hates drunk girls (he must haveee to like me..) you can take it or leave it. I guess we'll take it...my vote is for awesome.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I often describe myself as a disgruntled worker. The most common response from people is "at least you have a job". But after graduating and having joined the workforce for almost a solid 8 months now...I would say I borderline a disgruntle worker. Now when I tried to think of a list of reasons why I am, in fact, disgruntled...the list of reasons why I should be perfectly content where I am right now grew longer by the second...
A. I have all the free coffee, tea, water, and soda I want.
B. We get free bagels every Wednesday (which I will no longer consume - see the Jaunary 18th post The Dream)
3. I am allowed to wear jeans to work...everyday.
D. My gym membership is free (granted I am subject to seeing naked Jewish women walk shamelessly about the locker room - it is free nonetheless)
E. I got a free computer, a blackberry and a corporate credit card...
F. I can get here at 9:30 and leave at 5:30...
G. I can sometimes work from home
8. I get to travel (and they toads obvi pay for it)
I. I survived a layoff (although I did pit out my shirt and almost faint that day - I'm still here...)
J. I blog at work.
K. I am currently racking up miles and rewards points - to hopefully pay for a vacation...
L. I have unlimited vacation...(which I haven't yet taken any of)
M. I am not blocked from gchat or facebook (can we say a.d.d.?)
I was hoping to give you the A-Z's of why my current job is sweet - but at this point I'm sure you're so jeal. you've stopped reading. All in all I guess i'm just a lucky biatch and should sit tight until something better comes along... So for now it's just a job and I am really not that disgruntled.
"If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." - Jim Halpert, The Office
''Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say, in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work.'' —Peter, Office Space
Friday, January 23, 2009
I mean how freakin' special are you if even facebook lists your birthday with 6 other people. And alphabetically nonetheless...shouldn't they do it by how many pics are tagged of you? or how many friends or wall posts you have? Just kidding I don't actually have that many friends or pics... facebook makes me angry no one on my former college campus would have known it was my damn birthday if it didn't show up in the mini feed, I mean, WTF.
And then there are Birthdays that clump together. And you have to have a big birthday extravaganza. Or scratch that even if it's just one Birthday there's all that pressure to throw a cool party. But can you organize your own birthday? is that tacky? What if no one show's up to your sweet party? And then what happens when you turn a quarter of a century, or even half a century? Do you stop counting? Count backwards? Lie. All burning questions...another burning questions is this birthday causing me to have a quarter life crisis? If i live to 92 the answer is a resounding yes.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Everyone has dreams. I have dreams too, but I mean, right now as a post-college has been that often enjoys a few cold beverage or 10, my most important dream, aspiration if you will, is to be the skinny bitch that cranks budweisers. So basically once I get skinny enough I'll be able to crank those red,white, and blues in cutoff jean shorts.
So now I guess you understand why there is a small pair of jean shorts hanging next to the gym schedule. Yes the shorts were a joke and yes they are from the weathervane. I was caught back in the fall of '07 in a pair of butt pocket-less jean shorts. Oops! You only live once right?
Now you might be asking yourself how I plan on getting from where I am now to becoming skinny enough to achieve my dream. Two very simple words come to mind: kashi and ice chips. Okay a few more words come to mind than that kashi, ice chips, vodka tonics....treadmill, elliptical, celery...if you have any suggestions - do tell. I think with my June goal it's completely realistic. I plan on blogging about my progess as well...