Monday, November 30, 2009

Why being a cat lady is fine by me...

Surprised Kitty

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corn, and Syrup!

Last night, I walked into the bar.   The first person I hugged said "Wow you smell great!".

We went out to dinner in the North End, so I figured okay it's either garlic, or my wonderful perfume.  Moments later, I heard someone say "does it smell like maple syrup...does anyone smell syrup? No one smells that?".  As I removed my coat, I put it up to my nose and took a sniff. 

Holy eff my coat smells like a pancake breakfast.  I haven't eaten pancakes in about a year, and I'm unsure of where the scent came from...

Can we say, all I want for Christmas is a gift certificate to dependable cleaners? I think so.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Why am I Single Saturday...

Q: Why am I single?

A: There's a corkscrew in my bathroom.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I see your true colors...shining through

You know you've been in a similar scenario, you don't remember that last tequila shot you took until you see your bar tab, or find a lime in your back pocket.  

Maybe you don't remember you slipped on the dance floor until the pics are posted on facebook (and tagged obvi).  

Maybe you don't remember buying $2.67 worth of snacks at Cumberland Farms on your older sister's credit card (since you're 19 and have her ID too) on your walk home from the bar until your sis gets her credit card bill. Sorry Moose.  

But as soon as you have that bit of proof all of the memories come rushing back to you.

Well, something similar happened to me just last night.  Since none of our shows were new, I hit up our trusted DVR to see what was cookin'. 

note: I'm new to the whole DVR phenomenon.  It's truly become a luxury for me.  I often get frustrated when I try to fast forward through commercials and Vicky, my roommate, without a doubt reminds me "We're live".  every.single.time. I try to ffw.

I was scrolling through and I had one of those drunken memories come rushing right back.  It was one of those flashbacks that just slaps you right int he face.  The proof was right there, those DVRed movies jump right out at you in Purple & White.

That's right, after a full day of tailgating, and before heading back out to the bar, I DVRed Princess Protection Program. 

Duh staring Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato...

Now you've heard the age old proverb "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts".  This might be worse.

If you thought my HSM, pop-loving, teeny bopperness was an act,  I have the proof right on my DVR. Alas, I am truly a 13 year old girl (6 year old in urban areas)

If you're wondering, or course I didn't delete it!

Until next time,

Friday, November 20, 2009

Popprincess' New Beats!

Do You Remember (new beat)

Do You Remember - Jay Sean feat. Sean Paul& Lil Jon

Last night I turned into a bitter, single, lesbian, phone sex operator (Wha happennnned????)

So last night started out at a jewelry party.  It was actually quite fabulous, I highly recommend visiting

I found a very cute necklace and asked one of JoJo's chronies working the party if I could get it engraved with a different letter.  Our interaction went as follows:

Jewelry Maker:  "Oh, I love this necklace!  I have it, I got it engraved with an 'M' for my boyfriend Mike". 

as she handed the necklace back to me, I held it up to myself...

Me (sarcastically): Ohhhh, well I'm single, so I'm going to have to get my own initial.

laughter erupts.  A blank stare from the jewelry maker.

After apologizing for my joke while laughing and saying,  'oh, that came out wrong', I thought, When did I become the bitter single lady?

After the party me and Cissy, my friend from work, headed to the bar to meet her friends for drinks.  Following introductions it somehow came up that I played lacrosse in college.  Her friend's response to that was:

"Wow we should have just fist pumped instead of shaking hands"
As he gestured me to give him fist pound

After going into a discertation on how a fist pump was different than a fist pound and that female lacrosse players don't fist pound or grow hair on their chests, I realized by that point, this kid already thought I was a lezi...but moving on.

As the conversation proceeded it came to what do I do for work.  Well this is complicated...Well I work in IT, I sort of do trade shows online, you know people chat and I manage the Virtual show etc. etc....

Resposne: So, porn?
Me: What, No!  How does doing  virtual event turn into porn?
Response: Okay, so are you like virtual phone sex operator?
Me (confused): No...

I think they were picturing something like this:

Hollah Evangaline...

And then, this one really put me over the top.  As they laughed and high fived over me being a phone sex operator, I said "Watch it, I'll t-bag you both".  No, popprincess, that is not the word you were looking for, t-bag does not mean hit in the nuts as you may have thought after 7 bud lights.

Response: HAHAHA! Oh, so you're like Lady Gaga, Jamie Lee Curtis...
Me: ughhhhh, I really need to brush up on my urban dictionary tomorrow...

So I think I'll have to work on my first impressions so I don't come off as a on  a single, lesbian/hermaphrodite, phone operator.

Better luck next time popprincess...


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Why am I single Wednesday...

Q: Why am I single?

A: I cried at the Janet Jackson interview last night...

On a lighter note, her new song looks bomb...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ayyyyyyy, it's the Party in the U.S.A. Effect

Okay, we all know I'm an avid Miley and all things pop music/culture fan.  But I have to take a stand.  Party in the U.S.A. is ruining the game for all of us single ladies...

Case in point:  We're out at the bar on Friday, we see a group of guys that are attractive and they are swaying to Montell Jordon This is How We Do It or Jay-Z and Rihanna Run This Town with a decent amount of swagger.  Okay ladies, looks like the game is on.

Then the DJ starts to spin a new beat.  'IT'S MILEY!'.  At first said circle of guys is just standing, listening to Miley screech about how she "hopped out the cab at LAX" and they are wondering why the heck she's whining about her stupid cartigan.  But, a mere 30 seconds later, they are "noddin their heads like yeah" and all bets are off. 

Here's the issue: for some reason, people (not just chicks) feel compelled to act out each action miley describes in her lyrics.  You have a group of decently attractive guys nodding their heads, fine, I can handle that.  But when they are effectively raising the roof and bopping their hips around to the bubble-gum beat, I suddenly lose all interest, the become far less attractive.  A 10 becomes a 4 because you can't help but question whether he swings both ways...

The 'dance floor' a the Bell in Hand becomes a middle school dance gone wrong.  And in all honesty, you guys are just steps away from this dude below (as endearing as he is).

So a word of advice guys: If you're trying to close the deal, head to the restroom, drop by the bar and order something on the rocks, or just take a seat and watch the ladies bee bop around until Party in the U.S.A. has run its course.

Popprincess, OUT.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy [?] Friday the 13th...

So it's the 3rd Friday the 13th of 2009.

According to Wikipedia: Friday the 13th occurs when the thirteenth day of a month falls on Friday, which suspicion holds to be a day of good or bad luck. In the Gregorian Calendar this day occurs at least once, but at most three times a year....In 2009 this applies to the months of February, March and November.

February 13, 2009 - I was single (still am) I'd say that's unlucky the day before Vday...

March 13, 2009 - Not my Birthday, Whatsoever.

And then there's today November 13, 2009. I haven't moved from my desk for fear of anything bad happening...

Donald Dossey, the founder of the Street Management Center and Phobia Institute told National Geographic"It's been estimated that [U.S] $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day because people will not fly or do business they would normally do," (Per ABCNEWS.COM).

The next year to have three Friday the 13th dates will be 2012 (again per Wikipedia).

OH, that's right 2012, you know the year the WORLD is supposed to end.
who knows they would be right 'we were warned'.

And don't say that I'm a weenie because I fear Friday the 13th. Henry Ford, FDR, and Napoleon all feared it.
But on the flip side...what's really wrong with the number 13? It's a baker's dozen, and who would say no to an extra choc. chip cookie or frosted cupcake...HELLOOOO!

So on that note, I think I'll have myself a baker's dozen of bud lights tonight and all will be well.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

Why am I Single...Week of 11/1

Q: Why Am I Single?

A: I had the following conversation with my roommate last night:

Me: Ugghh, what should I make for dinner?
Vickie(sarcastically): Well, why don't you change things up, melt cheese on something.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Overheard at the office....

So you've seen the blog 'Overheard in New York' and they list ridiculous/funny things that are overheard in NY.

Well, I hate New York, and there are 'inside' jokes that I don't quite (or will ever) appreciate. So I've decided to blog the ridiculousness I hear on a daily or weekly basis. Today, I was innocently walking by a row of cubes, and just stumbled on inspiration.

A super kind way to say: 'You Look Like Sh*t'

Guy: I did not say you look like crap.
Girl #1: Of course you did!
Girl#2: No, you totally did.
Guy: All I said was 'glasses today, huh?', you can take what you want from that.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Some kids just don't know how to play nice...

Elizabeth Lambert, you're just a poor sport.

Sure I'm a collegiate has been. And yes, I'm sure I've taken a few cheap shots in the past. But someone, somewhere along the way somoeone should have taught Elizabeth Lambert to play nice:

Friday, November 6, 2009

Deep thoughts on working from home...

"Working from Home", for most people, this means you're taking your kid to the doctor, or you're waiting for the cable guy to come, but actually being productive.

But for me, it typically means one of the following:

Never leaving my pj's and watching crimeshows all the live-long-day. Or in t he summer, maybe going to the beach. Perhaps driving up to Vermont for a long weekend...or digging out my car from a ginormous snow-storm.

Today, it meant waking up, watching Ri-Ri on the today show and then heading to the South Shore Plaza to spend the $100 gift card I got ~ for being such a hard working girl! ;)

My trip to the SSP really got me thinking - what the eff are all these people doing bee-bopping around the mall on a work day?

Are they jobless? and if they are jobless, where are they getting the money to be shopping? I mean, I understand the annoying women I passed sitting at au bon pain holding up the ridiculous baby clothes they bought (with their hard-working hubbies ca$h) and the older women well, they're obvi retired.

But the rest of the people there boggle my mind... I mean, the school-age children always throw me for a loop because it's toads not vacation.

And then, I jump on the highway to head home, and what are all these cars doingg? Where are they going and/or coming from? It's the same thing I think when I hit traffic late at night on say a Wednesday. Why isn't the whole East coast a sleep?

Anway, time for my mid-day nap, after that if you need me, I'll be doing squats in my living room to stretch out my new jeans (WAIS...?)...


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Cussing at Work

Dear Employees,

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

Try Saying: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2

Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3

Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4

Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF : No f___ing way.

Number 5

Try Saying: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6

Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7

Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8

Try Saying:That's interesting. I
NSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9

Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10

Try Saying: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11

Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12

Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF : Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13

Try Saying: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14

Try Saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15

Try Saying: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16

Try Saying: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17

Try Saying: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18

Try Saying: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Quote of the Day 11/5/2009

"You just don't have an ear for pop music like I do" ~Me

Why am I Single Wednesday?

I know..a day late - per usual.

Q: Why am I Single?

A: -------->