Dear blank, please blank

Dear Noah, 

 

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. 

 

Sincerely, Unicorns

 

***

 

Dear Twilight fans, 

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. 

 

Sincerely, Logic

 

****

 

Dear icebergs, 

 

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Enjoy the Karma... 

 

Sincerely, the Titanic.

 

***

Dear Students, 

 

I know when you're texting. 

 

Sincerely, No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles

 

***

Dear America, 

 

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. 

 

Sincerely, Canada

 

***

Dear 6, 

 

Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. 

 

Sincerely, 7

 

***

Dear Nickelback,

 

That's enough. 

 

Sincerely, the world.

 

***

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely, 

Google

***

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol

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