Last night I turned into a bitter, single, lesbian, phone sex operator (Wha happennnned????)
So last night started out at a jewelry party. It was actually quite fabulous, I highly recommend visiting JoJolovesyou.com.
I found a very cute necklace and asked one of JoJo's chronies working the party if I could get it engraved with a different letter. Our interaction went as follows:
Jewelry Maker: "Oh, I love this necklace! I have it, I got it engraved with an 'M' for my boyfriend Mike".
as she handed the necklace back to me, I held it up to myself...
Me (sarcastically): Ohhhh, well I'm single, so I'm going to have to get my own initial.
laughter erupts. A blank stare from the jewelry maker.
After apologizing for my joke while laughing and saying, 'oh, that came out wrong', I thought, When did I become the bitter single lady?
After the party me and Cissy, my friend from work, headed to the bar to meet her friends for drinks. Following introductions it somehow came up that I played lacrosse in college. Her friend's response to that was:
"Wow we should have just fist pumped instead of shaking hands"
As he gestured me to give him fist pound
After going into a discertation on how a fist pump was different than a fist pound and that female lacrosse players don't fist pound or grow hair on their chests, I realized by that point, this kid already thought I was a lezi...but moving on.
As the conversation proceeded it came to what do I do for work. Well this is complicated...Well I work in IT, I sort of do trade shows online, you know people chat and I manage the Virtual show etc. etc....
Resposne: So, porn?
Me: What, No! How does doing virtual event turn into porn?
Response: Okay, so are you like virtual phone sex operator?
Me (confused): No...
I think they were picturing something like this:
And then, this one really put me over the top. As they laughed and high fived over me being a phone sex operator, I said "Watch it, I'll t-bag you both". No, popprincess, that is not the word you were looking for, t-bag does not mean hit in the nuts as you may have thought after 7 bud lights.
Response: HAHAHA! Oh, so you're like Lady Gaga, Jamie Lee Curtis...
Me: ughhhhh, I really need to brush up on my urban dictionary tomorrow...
So I think I'll have to work on my first impressions so I don't come off as a on a single, lesbian/hermaphrodite, phone operator.