Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Year Without Cheese - Episode 2

The Year Without Cheese - Episode 2 (The Month Without Swearing) has been an epic fail thus far.

In the first hour of the first day, I dropped three F-bombs.


I attempted to keep a tally of these swears and decided I would donate $0.25 for every swear to a charity to be determined.

This was far more difficult than I anticipated. 

First off, sure it was easy to keep track when I was swearing in the comfort of my desk with my sticky notepad of tally marks slowly but surely adding up.  I was even quoted saying...

"But I talk A LOT so eight swears in one day is really not THAT many..."
*seriously relative to the number of words I speak...this is just fact, plain and simple.

However, I ran into one issue that broke down into a few layers: the weekend.

The layers are as follows
1) My drinking habits
2) My affinity for playing sports with old ladies

As far as #1 goes, it's fairly obvious.  I like the sauce.  And as I drink more, I get more animated and excited in conversation and to prove a point or make a story have more umph there's gotta be a bit of profanity.  And keeping track is out the window after bud light #4.

As far as my affinity for playing in adult sporting leagues goes...the issue doesn't lie in the keeping track...but rather in the sheer number of profane words that come out of my mouth.  Playing soccer with old ladies obviously calls for a few teammates to have lost their touch.

 This past Sunday was a doozy.  In our indoor league we play two, 24 minute halves.  I let in 7 goals in the 1st half.  8 goals overall.  You bet your tuckus that I threw out a swear every single time the ball rolled past me into the goal...and a few other choice times when there were some close calls.

So I'm doing my best, right? Wrong.  I gave up cheese for cripes sake!  Maybe I can buckle down, but to be perfectly honest, February might be a wash.  I'm not made of money, and this isn't the month where I give up the I might have already lost track. 

If you have any ideas of something drastic I can give up for the end of the month, or tips to get my act together..please let me know.

Comments are encouraged.