Thursday, April 22, 2010

If you want to feel like a has-been...Google Yourself.

I've been to the end of the internet and back.

Yep, the very end and I've come back with  all of the random useless knowledge that no one wants or needs to know..

I made had an epiphany recently.

If you cannot be found on the internet you do not exist.

Okay, that's harsh but, if you aren't on facebook, linked in, etcetera:

a) you're a shut in
b) you're on the run from the law
c) you've faked named me*
*Think Regina Phalange from Friends

Although I believe the above statements to be true, I hope my life cannot be whittled down to my existance on the internet. 

Yes, true, I can be found on facebook and linked in.  But in a straight up google search, my life is pretty damn depressing.

I google: my full name + my hometown:

"Senior goalkeeper Popprincess continued her fine season for the insert [my awesome HS name here] girls ... performance yesterday against visiting Patriot League...". My life boils down to a measly soccer game from 2003 that I barely remember.

Beyond that it's  5k Turkey Trot that I 2000

I google: my full name + my college:

a few lacrosse stats and a completely fabricated quote from the school online newspaper:

“If I don’t exercise at least a few times a week, I think I would go into a state of depression”

That's false...and LAME.


Okay, so I try this with some friends...same formul.  If I google fox + her hometown:

"graduated cum laude with a bachelor of arts degree in journalism..."

Sorry Fox, I graduated cum friends.

How about Fox + our college...

news articles, dean's list...oh that's right ..."student drummers include..."

student drummers? YIKES.

So I dare you, google yourself.  As much as I love the interweb, social networking, blogging, tweeting, facebook status messaging updating....

I hope to goodness gracious that my existance is not belittled to what my google search results point to.

So happy googling kids, god speed.

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