Maybe you've seen them these "I hate" videos I speak of, I guess they are kind of a new fad. My future husband, Daniel Tosh, featured one of these vidoes on his show. I felt equally compelled to make one for myself.
Unfortunately, my plan was foiled by the lack of a webcam, but I figured a list of things I hate would work just fine.
I hate when I'm driving and I sneeze, I really do see my life flash before my eyes.
I hate when people call me m'am. I'm 24, my claddagh is not flipped, that's miss to you young man.
I hate when people e-mail me requesting something I've already sent them. Learn how to read a-hole.
I hate when people use their facebook status messages/AIM away messages etc to tell me what their every next move for the next 12-24 hours will be: "Getting out of bed, eating breakfast, going for a quick run, shower, work for awhile, dinner with my loves xoxoxox, then out for the night!!!" If you forget what the plan is after your shower, do you just look back at your status message?
I hate when people fart at the gym.
I hate when people think their car is better than my 2001 Chevy Cavalier. Automatic windows and locks are
overrated.
I hate the barenaked ladies.
I hate when I'm at the bar after a day at the beach and people look at my sunburn and say things like "that really looks like it hurts", "that doesn't look very good", or "I like your tan lines". It's an Irish tan and was intential, deal with it.
I hate PT Cruisers.
I hate that people judge me because I'm on twitter. I like to stay connected (@popprincess301, der).
I hate parking far away from my apartment and then seeing a space front and center as I approach my place.
I hate the confused look people give my when I talk about my iphone (note: my iphone is a blackberry).
I hate when I'm at a bar and a group of obnoxious people (likely dressed up for some form of wedding sendoff, birthday, going away party etc) think they are the life of the party. I'm here with my friends. We are better looking and we are the life of the party.
Okay, let's be honest. I'm not new to the game. I read andsaw he's just not that into you. I'm 99.9% sure I'm not as delusional as many ladies are, no offense (you're probably not self-aware if you are in fact delusional, so I'm not sure why I think that would actually offend anyone, but I digress).
Let's queue up some standard He's Just Not That Into You quotables/videos.
Okay, Okay, Okay, I GET IT!
So let's get to the nitty, gritty, you're probably asking yourself what I, Popprincess, am truly getting at here. So here we go....
Even if you're not pining over a dude by any means,even if you're only slightly interested after going out a few times, plain and simple it's a bruise to your ego if he doesn't call you. He should be pining over you. Am I right?
I know, I'm right. I didn't give in I didn't call, Popprincess stood strong. I did not call, I did not text, and I certainly did not BBM(blackberry message). After no word for a solid two weeks, I moved on, ego bruised, but head held high.
So he doesn't call. You don't break out your voodoo doll do you? But in the back of your head you hope for some sort of sweet revenge.
So this dude that shall remain nameless sort of fell of Popprincess' radar ...until this past Monday. I was watching Gossip Girl with Moose and looked on my phone at my bbm list. A name I had never seen was in my list of contacts.
**This photo has only been altered to conceal the identities of my friends/family
Me: Who the eff is Tony Stark?
Moose: What???
Me: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.
The dude that shall remane namless had mentioned 'Iron Man' in a previous conversation. He was excited for Iron Man 2.
But he changed his effing BBM alias to the name of a character in a movie. Effectively, this would be like if I went to Twilight Eclipse, In Theaters June 30th, and then changed my BBM name to Bella.
Sweet mother of all Karma this is amazing. My ego is no longer bruised. This kid is a total wang. Victory is mine.
So ladies, a word of advice, a takeaway if you will. If a a dude, like the dude who shall remane nameless (Tony Stark), offers up Hot Tub Time Machine, as a first date, steer clear, go with your gut, look for love elsewhere*.
xoxo,
Popprincess
*editor's note: if you're wondering, yes I went to hot tub time machine. oh and I never got a meal of food out of 'Tony Stark' DEAL BREAKER.
A1: We had some gallons of water left over from the whole water fiasco, so I drank right from the gallon...similar to dudes wear a lifting belt and gloves at the gym.
A2: twice while googling a picture of a gallon of water I accidentally typed in "gallon of whatever"...yeah...twice.
"I accidently drew boobs on the white board today when I was trying to explain to the kids what a butt chin looked like. oooooooops!" ~Facebook Wall Post to me from Lillian
Running around like an absolute madwoman, I was able to shower, find clothes(and by clothes, I mean pickup whatever I could find off the floor), and get my sorry behind from South Boston - Newton by 9:58.
The reason I give you my exact arrival time, is because as I walked out of the parking garage, I recieved an outlook reminder for my 10AM meeting. WHOOPS.
The day didn't get better from there. But, to be perfectly honest, nothing a few(ahem 5-9?) bud lights can't cure.
