Which of these describes you?

As you read in Moose & Sticky Togetha 4Eva my sister, Moose, got engaged. We're all quite excited even though we may have a bridezilla AND groomzilla (for the first time in the history of weddings) Kidding! Sort of. The planning is already underway and my co-maid of honor obligatory duties have already begun.



After scoping out a few venues with the happy couple, I sat with Moose as she perused theknot.com She read aloud what some of my, along with co-maid of honor Beef's, wedding day duties would be :





"help the bride get dressed, taking care to frequently remind her that she looks beautiful"


Seriously? I've got to get on this website. So I logged myself right onto theknot.com and clicked 'join free'.

They had a nice little profile which I began to fill out...


So I filled out my name, e-mail etc. and begin to answer questions like:

You are the... maid of honor (nice!)


Which of these describes you? I'm thinking, generous? perky? positive?









No no...the following were my options:

playing the field

in a relationship

about to be engaged

engaged

married!



First off, who the hell knows they are about to be engaged? If you're a woman, you're probably lying to yourself. You have been waiting FOREVER to be engaged so you just want to feel a little better about yourself/keep a tiny speck of hope alive. If you are a dude registering for this website this is true, you probably know you're 'about to be engaged'. But maybe you should re-think marrying a woman if you're on the knot excited about picking out bouquet colors. Hit up ESPN.com now please.




But back to me, PLAYING THE FIELD? Albeit completely and utterly true, couldn't they have just put 'dating', 'casually dating', or 'looking for love' as an option as well?

No no, they throw that phrasing in and then have the complete 180 right in our face: playing the field vs. married! that's right, married, exclamation point (!). That's just insult to injury people.





I closed the computer before I completely regressed...but the following day I watched two episodes of full house and both HSM1 & 2.







Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula you say? No thanks, not yet.