Wednesday, March 2, 2011

An Open Letter to Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin,

How are you? Are things good? How's Jessica, good? Good. Let's cut to the chase.

What's happened? My concern is growing because you are a very talented guy, you're a triple threat in fact! You can sing, dance and act but your priorities seem to be whack lately to say the least. 

You can sing, dance, and act and should do so in that order.  Sure, your acting career has come a long way since you were in that ABC Family made for TV movie (ahem, Model Behavior). And even though I shed a tear at the end of Alpha Dog, seeing you as a tatooed bad-ass in a movie that is a B- at best is not what I'm lookin' for. 

So maybe you made some strides outside music biz over the past few years.  We LOVED D*ck in a box, we did.   I agree, you may have missed your calling as an SNL regular.  You were pretty bomb at hosting the ESPY's, we love sports too.

But let's get REAL: Shrek the Third was by far the worst in the series.  Then, did you really sign on as the voice of Boo-Boo? And after that you played a booger on The Cleveland Show? Nothing sexy about that JT.

Maybe the voice-overs are fun but take it back to the basics.  People are starting to forget who you are!  Take for example my roommate, Beej and her boyfriend @KLFatso.  They went to see The Social Network together. 

1/2 way through the movie:
@KLFatso: So, is that really the guy that invented Napster?
Beej: No, that's Justin Timberlake?

Exactly KLfasto, who is he??? Oh, he brought SexyBack in 2006

Per wikipedia, since 2007 he's been doing "collaborations & acting".  Well the collabos are few and far between.  Listen up.  Carry out was only O.K., so was 4 minutes but Madonna anytime past 1990 is overrated.  Don't be so quick to walk away...from your solo music career JT.  We need you!

Give freaking Nelly Furtado a call and get something crackin'!  I need a beat.  I need a dance beat and I need it from you.  Do me a solid get your ass out of the voice-over studio and into the music studio.  So bring Rihanna, Timbo, T.I. (once he's out of jail again) and whoever else you need. 

Call Lil' wayne, you're bound to go top 10 if you bring him.

I'm here for you bud, but if you star in another GD animated feature I'm gonna agree that sexy left for good and go see what JC Chasez is up to. 

Until then,

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