Happy Bday Sticky!
You know him, he was previously featured in Awesome?
We'll just say, he's turning 21 for the 7th time today. He's been sitting at his desk (which btw is NOT in a cubicle, crying all day). I would say that this is going to tarnish his image, but I think he can pull it off. It just makes the ladies thing he's "sensitive" and thus, doesn't make him look like a weenie.
The only way I could console Sticky, was to tell him, "hey, at least you're not 30". I'm so sentimental sometimes it's shocking, really.
I decided that to make him feel a little better, I would compile a list of things that happened to me, or my acquaintances on their respective birthdays that are far shittier (sometimes literally, read on and see).
When we turned 3, my twin sister and I both had the chicken pox=no bday party. When we were having our bath, Beef decided she wanted to see if chicken pox actually tasted like chicken, and she bit one off of me.
We all know about the pony ride incident from phobia-shmobia, I'm surprised I ever went to another birthday party...
In 4th grade, Moose was upset (she tends to get upset when it's not her party and cries if she wants to - watch out Sticky), and she put her fist through my M&M tree cake. Wahh.
When Nugget was in HS everyone ignored her all day long, and she didn't catch on that this is a common theme when someone is throwing you a surprise party. She went home and cried to her mom that everyone hated her. She also popped some anti-inflammatories before blowing out her candles so she didnt' catch on fire...
Sophomore year of college during my birthday celebration my friend "Bob" was trying to light a fart on fire with a combination of matches, lighters, and birthday candles. Let's just say he gambled on a fart and lost(see below). And everyone always says "remember that time 'Bob' sharted in your room?". Goo. yes yes I do, it was my birthday.
So see Sticky? Turning another year older is not so bad. I'm betting you tomorrow you won't be telling me you got bit or someone sharted in your bedroom...that also happens to be your living room...and your kitchen (I'm sure you are familiar with the fact that a college dorm functions as all 3). So let me leave you with some meaningful words from John P. Grear:
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime".