Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cheaters

So, I recently, after about 10 bud lights, shared my perspective on what I thought about cheaters. This story is not real, just based on my observations of today's world. Here's the cliff's notes version:

Plot Summary: Cheaters never win, and they make the whole world lose.

When I say cheaters, I'm not talking about the kid in class who is copying off your scan tron sheet on your algebra final.

I'm talking about skanks (male & female).



Characters

Tiffany - Cheats on her significant other

Tommy - Is cheated on by Tiffany.

Todd- Dude Tiffany cheats with.

Popprincess (Me) - One of the many single ladies in the universe.

Chapters

Chapter 1
Tiffany and Tommy are dating.

Chapter 2
Tiffany meets Todd at the bar, Tiffany cheats on Tommy with Todd.

Analysis: Tiffany is a whore.

Chapter 3
Popprincess was at the bar that very night, but doesn't seem to run into any nice, single guys.

Analysis:
Tiffany is a whore, stealing up single guys when she is not in fact single.

Chapter 4
Tommy finds out Tiffany cheated and breaks up with her. Tommy is devastated.

Chapter 5
Tommy finally begins moving on, his friends introduce him to Popprincess. He thinks she is nice, EXTREMELY pretty, but 'isn't ready' he's not sure he can trust another lady.

Analysis:
Tiffany is a whore, and Tommy is damaged goods.

Chapter 6
Tiffany begins to date Todd. Todd knows Tiffany's a cheater and becomes paranoid and possessive about Tiffany. Todd assumes Tiffany is cheating so Todd cheats on Tiffany.

Analysis: Tiffany is a whore. Todd, who was formerly a decent single guy, now damaged goods. Popprincess, still single. Other single dudes out there - Todd stole away a potential lady friend for you.

Chapter 7
Todd dumps Tiffany and exposes all the other dudes Tiffany cheated on Tommy with. Thus, causing several couples to break up, chick fights to be waged via facebook and twitter, and several cars to be keyed.

Tiffany ends up alone.

Overall Analysis:
From what we read in the above story, it is clear that Tiffany is an illogical, irrational, selfish brat. The snowball effect she creates by her cheating is irreversible. Her rash decisions to cheat should have been combated with a little common sense and logic.

As a result, Tiffany causes pain and suffering for more than just Tommy. Todd is now taken to the dark side. Popprincess is still single with all these nice young men being dragged into Tiffany's web of lies and deceit.

So there you have it. Cheaters never win. They make everybody else lose to.

Let the single be single. I'll say it - there's only soo many good fish out there, so Tiff, you leave them be.

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