But sir, I'm turning 24, not 19...

In a few days, I will be turning 24, that's right 24.  Moose, described this year's bday ever-so-kindly via a facebook invite as the last birthday before Beef and I collectively turn 50. 

Eff.

As J-Simps would say "it's like almost twenty-five, which is almost mid-twenties"

So almost being half-way to fifty almost a quarter of a century...but not quite.

As I mentioned before, Moose so kindly created a facebook invite for Beef and I for our Double-Golden Birthday promising "a good time filled with bar tricks, sick dance moves, and maybe even a twin v. twin drink off".  Needless to say we were pretty excited.

However, Neighb, my old college roommate gave me a disturbing call on Monday night.  She said something to the effect of:

"My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw another facebook invite for the bar we're going to for your Birthday, there's a lotta people invited. I guess it's pretty serious".

So, armed with my crime-show skills, and crime-solving knowledge, I ask Neighb if I can log onto her fook account, and make a startling discovery.

I could not believe what my eyes were seeing.  Before reading on, please keep the following things in mind:

#1 I'm turning 24

#2 The bar holds 150 people, max.

#3 I'm turning 24

I quickly scanned the page to see the number of people attending.  This is not an exaggeration

"This event has 115 confirmed guests"

Might attend (88)

Awaiting Reply (393)

I think...who even has five hundred friends??? And then I read further...

Party at [insert name of bar], Saturday, January 23rd. $3 Dollar drafts and shot specials.

This is the theme...there is no theme. We are in winter mode, and some of us tend to get a little "crazy" when we go out. The weather sucks, and we all need a little lovin...Drunkest dude and chick each get a $100 gift certificate the next day when they go back to pick up their credit card. Full sand pit and mist machine...Lets get nuts. Hook Up or Throw Up!

 

Okay, I might seem like a wild child...and yes I have previously admitted that I make it in public.  But there is no way, no how, this is going to be our birthday party.

 

Now, to add insult to injury, in the comments section it said:

 

"They better bring a mop...cuz it's gonna get MESSY!".

 

Goo.

 

The next day I call the bar, the 'organizer' assures me that things will be fine...I wanted to say "but sir, I'm turning 24, not 19 I mean that invite speaks for itself.  We moved on, and decided to choose =a different, a bit classier bar, down the street. 

 

Sorry kids, no mist machine or sand pit where we're headed.  But like Moose said, we can absolutely promise bar tricks, sick dance moves, and dance-offs.  Maybe even a smooch from one of the birthday girls. 

 

Hook-up or throw up certainly isn't the goal. 

 

If either of the above happen...in the words of bewitched...C'est la vie!