Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Kicking of '09 Right, With Ashton Kutcher and a Plethora of Cheese...

Most people want to start the new year off right. Eat healthy, be more kind, excercise. Not for us, not on January 1 anyway..

Being completely and utterly post college on New Year's Eve, I went to a house party. I extended the invitation to my sister's two friends(25 and 26 year old cohorts previously mentioned in Awesome?) with promises of keg stands, single dudes, and a dj. Done and done.

Now - if I previously thought that the party was over after college I was wrong. Even after you turn a quarter of a century, you can still bring in the noise.

26 year old, Vicki, was probably more excited than Ralphie when he got his red rider bb gun on christmas morning - to rock out on NYE. She hit the dance floor before she even got a beer in her hand and was determined to makeout with one of the post-college dudes.

After double fisting beers for about an hour she began taking tabs on who was single - by the time the ball dropped it did not matter. She headed for one of my most attractive friends and he turned away ("wtf?", she thought). Only the following day did she feel worse when the attack was in fact caught on camera and posted on the interweb via facebook - by his girlfriend. Not for nothing, she did end up making out...thank fully with someone who actually was single.

25 yr old Bizzie, not to be out-done, stood in the kitchen around 12:30, dropped her bottle of champagne mid chug, and booted in the sink. She then loudly exclaimed "Holy Crap! Gross. That's Chinese!".

I pretended not to know them.

By 2 a.m. we had overstayed our welcome but we couldn't find Vicki anywhere. crap. The cab came so maturely we left her, wherever she may have been. We brought Bizzie directly to her door and she contributed a whole $1.00 to to the cab fare, thanks Biz.

We get home and I manage to find some pj's and pass out. I wake up, and I immediately grabbed for my phone to see what damage was done the night before via text.

An outgoing text to Nugget read: "Happy new year I lvoe you. zac efron is on my tits"

I look down, it's confirmed, I slept in my High School Musical Shirt. Right on.

I decide we need the entertainment of Vicki and Biz for the entire following day so I call them to come over. Vicki's out to breakfast...with my friend. WHAT? Yes, she is actually, actually eating a meal of food with him. Whoopsies. She sends him home, on the bus, and makes her way, in a snowstorm to come entertain me.

The come to my door bearing gifts, and egg & cheese and Mac & Cheese. I had cheez-its for breakfast, queso dip for lunch, mac and cheese, and cheese pizza that day, no lie (Do I smell more material for Why Am I Single?)

Okay so you understand the cheese theme, but why Ashton Kutcher? you ask. Because for some reason we were able to watch 5 Ashton Kutcher movies in one day. I'm betting you are saying to yourself "But Ashton Kutcher didn't even make 5 movies". Untrue.

We watched:

Dude Where's My Car?
Guess Who?
Cheaper by the Dozen
My Boss' Daughter
and now a Personal Favorite What Happens in Vegas. ("WHY?? you KNOW why!")

When Cameron Diaz drank a Budweiser in that movie I knew I needed to step away from the cheese and head towards the freezer for some ice chips. Enough said.

That lasted about 5 minutes when I headed to the kitchen for some ice chips and instead grabbed a bud light. The cause is the cure right? I figure, 2009 has potential for an upgrade, but it could wait until tomorrow...

No comments: